Trippin’ off the love, and faded...
posted 2019-10-12 21:37:58

...off the fuckin’.


Where to even begin?

I took the bff out for her bday dinner. And she said she wanted to clear the air, but it’s still foggy as fuck. After spewing off a bunch of stuff she said she had one small little thing left. And then she couldn’t even continue the conversation because she started crying. Throughout the entire night I felt like an observer. Like I am no longer a willing participant in our friendship.

I can’t trust her and I am fed up with her narcissistic bullshit. Being her friend is impossible. She doesn’t want a friend. She wants someone to agree with her every thought and indulge her demands. Like, yes, I am submissive, but not to her.

I left it as is though because it was her bday dinner. What happens now, is something else altogether. I’m no longer catering to her fucked up idea of what my life and our ‘friendship’ should be. No more.

Speaking of dysfunction, I am having dinner with my youngest brother and our mother tomorrow. I have barely spoken to her in over two years. But the Maestro has been suggesting that I make some kind of amends and it was Yom Kippur, so perhaps now is the right time.

The thing is, he doesn’t know our whole history. But he is also an orphan, so I get that he has a wholly different perspective.

Regardless of how it all goes, I know he will be there for me.

And hopefully next week certain things will happen and he will literally be there for me more often.

I trust him, but I am not holding my breath.

Besides, that’s his job.




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