posted 2020-09-02 12:01:17
This most recent relationship near-miss has really dredged up a lot of old feelings about being disposable. I really don't feel like I'm needed in thr world or by anyone around me. I'm thr friend that people enjoy hanging with, but don't really care if im not around or even notice for that matter. Ran a test the last two days to see if anyone initiated conversation if I didn't start it. Two days without a single proactive message, and even the one person I did reach out to barely engaged, dropping off in conversation quickly.
I don't mind the isolation most of the time, but its painful when im in these lost states.