posted 2021-03-02 17:48:21

I am so bored with my life. I should just be grateful for what I have. I have a good job where I don’t have to work too hard. It’s rarely stressful. CB has his moments, but he isn’t a bad partner. He accepts me as I am for the most part, and we’ve gotten along a lot better the last four months or so. I’m buried in student debt, but who isn’t. I have a nice apartment to live in, I can afford my bills fine. It’s all so boring though. I’m bored at work, I’m bored at home after work and on the weekends. I go to bed early and take naps because I can’t be bored while I’m sleeping. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy?

I wish I had friends in the area. The only friend I’ve made in New Mexico is my front desk lady at work, and she’s almost double my age.

I tried to just bury my doubts about CB. We’ve even been talking about getting engaged because that’s what people do. But the doubts keep bubbling back up, creating this knot in my stomach that I can’t shake. Fuck me.