posted 2020-08-12 23:36:32

I always wanted to be an artist, musician or a singer... But I have no talent. So instead, I just appreciate art and music.

Early on in life, I took classes to explore my creative side but I made very little progress. I could practice for years and I would still suck. I was an ok musician in but I did not stick with it after high school.

I guess I should be grateful that I wash pushed into science and tech by my family. They knew I would turn out to be an antisocial troll that would never be successful in art or life. However, I can't help but think that if I get to live another life, I want to be born with an innate talent... like akiane kramarik who painted a masterpiece of Jesus at 8 years old. How does that happen to some people?

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posted 2020-08-12 15:37:10

Just got laid off.

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echoes: 12 July 1984
posted 2020-08-11 07:42:52

And Jones watches over the grid, thin lines on white with a black point at the origin. Jones has no memory of another place nor time before, no awareness of the lack of memory. Awareness of this only. Lines on white nothingness running off to infinity in two dimensions. Like the backdrop for a computer model scientists use to describe gravity and the laws of stuff happening. He perceives that the lines inch toward one another, or perhaps that he (though there is no sense of motion) is slowly moving away from the origin.

Pain, suddenly. He flails in space, grasping at walls that aren't there. Now he's infinitesimal and everywhere, inside himself, inside all places, all people, all variations merging from infinite wideness to infinite collapse. All fractal variations of everything leading up to the realization that everything happens because that's how it happens here, in this instance, in this variation.

He knows: an infinite number of ways to get to only a single possible destination.

The new knowledge that reality is just a four-dimensional funnel places him above space, the cosmos, the multiverse, the Every, all Size and When, Existence itself. The singularity. The nexus. The grid. Now he's infinite and everywhere. Now he touches the grid, assimilates the grid, becomes the nexus.

Kieth is opening her eyes looking around the alley and the refuse she's slumped in. She is feeling in her pocket the extra needle she'd left there, hoping she hasn't already used and forgotten. She is needing it because she is feeling him in her head again. With every cell she is feeling him, needing him, needing Ė the needle cracks the skin Ė

He becomes aware of the crack and what it means, puts forth his will, tears it open Ė

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posted 2020-08-05 16:39:19

What if q-annon is just a distraction from the truth?

Mention how Trump is trying to save us while ignoring the fact he wished Ghislaine maxwell well.

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posted 2020-08-05 15:05:31

man what a crap day. stupid transcript issues.

stupid work schedule issues.

stupid internal training program issues.

need a vacation or something.

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posted 2020-08-04 19:19:08

Women fuck up, date across, and marry down
Men fuck down, date across, and marry up

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posted 2020-08-02 16:28:28

I havenít written anything about all the shit thatís been going on because it doesnít feel like thereís anything conclusive to say about it yet, itís so up in the air and chaotic. Iíll probably delete this later thinking ďwhat kind of prelude footnote bullshit is this, you jackassĒ but lately everything anything I put in here feels like some spotify artist notes written by the artist themselves. mohawk is an experimental artist from nowhere enacting a multi-genre project that culminates in a funk opera. some fuck ass bullshit. got my hands full, at least.

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posted 2020-07-30 20:03:16

I am pretty tempted right now. I live between to major cities that both have a decent selection of trans escorts. However, the distance to each city and trying to do my part in flattening the curve has kept me away. But that has changed recently as trans escorts have been advertising in a neighboring town. Two of them are definitely my type and couldnít be more than 4 miles away.

I am single now, working from home, have none of the afflictions that put me at a higher risk and not close enough to visit any elderly family. Might just take the plunge.

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posted 2020-07-29 01:14:57

Aw heck. I am gone for a single long weekend and that neanderthal goes and deletes his posts. What sweet nuggets of wisdom did he drop that I missed? Iím still waiting on a response to my vaccines post but I have little hope he has the courage to engage in a serious discussion about that, or to be honest, any topic, really. Cowards gonna cower.

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posted 2020-07-20 19:36:50

My aunt wrote a book several years ago. Itís her autobiography; the story of how she was trafficked in Washington DC starting from when she was 12.

She ran away from home several times as a kid and when she was 12 a couple took her in and then sold her. She was addicted to heroin and trafficked until she was in her early 20s. She works in DC now and is trying to get laws passed to protect victims of sex trafficking.

I was never close with her when I was growing up. My dad (the raging alcoholic) was the baby of his family and always said he just knew his older sister ran away when he was younger. My grandmother always said she was just a mentally unstable brat and my grandfather never really talked about her. My other aunt and uncle have a strained relationship with her.

Today I decided to buy her book. She states she was sexually abused by my grandfather and my uncle, that my aunt and grandmother knew (my dad was very young so she says she isnít sure what he knows), and that was what caused her to run away. What she writes about is awful, and it confuses me because I had a very good relationship with my grandfather and had no idea of any of it. I believe her though. I honestly do.

It just makes me realize how fucked up families can be. How they can damage each other and every generation that comes after. That it takes a conscious choice to stop all the abuse and trauma that flows downwards.

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