posted 2018-09-18 15:29:11
Fuck boy manager got promoted to director....the director quit and they moved him up....
This fuck has been here for less than a year
Job hunt is going shit,
My side huddle is pulling in $400 a month
If I can make $3000 a month iíll Quit for sure....but Iím constantly on the verge of telling some to go fuck themselves.
Ideally iíd Like to get fired so I can get unemployment. While I focus on my business.
Tired of working for fuck boys
posted 2018-09-17 22:35:07
I met a guy who I might really like. #26 T.H.
I forgot to record one last spring, #25 A.A. Nothing special there.
posted 2018-09-17 01:30:15
Oh -- I also forgot to say. Possibly because I feel like I'd jinx myself. But we moved to Third City. We're still close to the state I left. I can see it if I hang out on my roof deck. But just barely.
posted 2018-09-16 00:18:13
I need to write some jokes.
like develop a tight ten, as they say.
DEM and other people used to tell me to do stuff like that, become an essayist, or a standup comic, and essay wise, the only people I could think of were Spalding Grey (big when I was in high school) and David Foster Wallace, and um, they have some commonalities I'd like to avoid.
So Grey's body identified via dental records after being found in the east river two months after he killed himself by jumping off a ferry. fun wiki fact of the night. Wallace hung himself with an extension cord, which seems more straightforward.
I like being charming. It's not easy when you can't engage people directly.
or you can, but you look like an asshole.
So the station fired one of the on air personalities this past week, he probably showed up drunk. hard to say, I'm not in the loop. Got a scary terse email saying xxxx is no longer employed by yyyy and is not permitted in yyyy buildings or properties.
I don't want to be that guy.
so. minor league baseball. ranks for me a little above horse dressage and way below midget wrestling when it comes to stuff I want to watch.
dressage, for those of us who are normal, is basically horse dancing. You get on a horse and make it walk in cute, funny ways. It's really dumb and costs a boatload of money.
you ever have that experience where you're completely, totally out of place?
(save the going stag to slutwalk story for another time)
so I was working a contract at a museum in Florida, in Palm Beach, which is a fantastically wealthy resort island, and they have this little tea room set up looking out over Lake Worth and the yachts and the Donald Trump properties, and basically I had a comped tea time pass. So I go down there by myself, and give them the card, and I get this table for four, by myself, and they bring me this giant tower of canapés and petit fours and so forth, and my tea, because of course you get motherfucking tea in the tea room, and this entire busload of women in lily pulitzer comes sweeping in, like orange magenta mauve sunglasses, giant hats, thousands of them, and fills up the rest of the room, with me in the middle of it.
I'm not sure who my people are, but those were not my people.
So I went to my county extension agency grain contest and pesticide recertification training two weeks back. This one rich guy plants all these different varieties of corn and soybeans next to each other, and then the reps from each of the seed companies comes up and tells you what you're looking at. It's an interesting intersection of language and science, because instead of "genetics" or "genes" they say "technology", as in this vanity contains the Bt technology against corn cutworm" or whatever. And they talk about a bunch of different technologies and glide right over whether it's a selected breeder variety type technology, or wither they spliced in some random salmon genes. One of the ag reps, who is about 30, leans over to this kid who is a county extension agent- they both went to Virginia Tech- and says "do you know what they're doing on campus tours these days? When you give a campus tour at tech today you have to tell everybody your orientation, like Hi I'm Steve and I'm a cis pan hetero whatever". The ag agent looks vaguely confused.
We went back to a former School building for a fried chicken dinner, my county ag agent, young woman who has gotten much better at public speaking, asked the buttoned down old man who grew all the test plots to lead us in prayer, which he does.
We have a talk on dicambria drift. This is kind of a big deal. Potent herbicide that likes to evaporate back off the field you put it on and move someplace else. Kills oak trees really good.
Then there was a talk about giant hogweed. Giant Hogweed is very phytotoxic, you get it on you in direct sunlight and your skin falls off. it's killed people. Its also giant. like 14 feet tall. So that helps with the ID.
Then we played toxicology bingo, with m&ms, many of which were consumed in the process of playing. This got them like 3 credits or whatever towards maintaining their permits to spray various chemically hazardous types of nasty all over the landscape.
Most of the guys in the room were vegetable people. You can tell the corn/soybean guys because they're well dressed and well educated and well connected and like button down shirts. they're also running half million dollar pieces of ag equipment over thousands of acres of land.
the vegetable people look like the slept in a ditch. because they farm the fuck out of like 8 acres.
posted 2018-09-14 18:15:45
I put into my symptoms into Google, just my overall feeling (just got over a head cold/sinus thing, and period and I feel much better) and it said something along the lines of it being signs of a spiritual awakening.
Not sure about that...I have come to the conclusion that maybe I'm not going to be in the light (someone is is well-know in my field, famous, etc.) But the person who will instead light the fire. reply by Epigenetic
posted 2018-09-14 06:41:49
This week has dragged on forever considering I spent Monday, Tuesday, and part of Wednesday recovering from last week's trip. If the past few days are a preview of how the upcoming winter is going to be, I could be in real trouble a few months from now. At least I'll have some interesting adventures to look back on when temperatures are below zero and the ground is blanketed with snow.
Things are not looking good at all on the job front. I think my new employer is already trying to get rid of me. First, they gave me a substantial paycut and now they've reduced my hours down to practically nothing. I've decided to give it another month to see if things improve. If not, I'll start exploring other jobs, careers, and locations at that time. The only reason I'm waiting so long is because I have a lot going on between now and mid-October, so this "flex-schedule" arrangement suits me well for the time being. My calendar is pretty much dead after that, so I'll be more willing to assume a full-time slate then.
"I used to think that I could change the world
Now I'm afraid I can't even change myself"
- Kingdom of Giants (from "Runaway")
posted 2018-09-13 02:47:54
decided i'll probably never stop being a little bit in love with that girl i dated, but i'll date and fall in love with other women too, and i'll just get to be full of love in a really lucky way.
i'm still fond of the first guy i fell in love with, brown, even though he was kind of a jerk and even though i haven't seen him in ten years despite having a lot of mutual close friends (because he still refuses to be in the same room as me).
so this girl gets a color name. she's going to be violet. there's already a girl named purple, who was my friend in high school who had a crush on me, unreciprocated. so they get to share a color family, which makes sense in a funny way.
Cage: too dehydrated for tears
posted 2018-09-12 17:15:04
I feel so low today. I came back to work today after being sick for the last 3 days. Genuine illness there...nothing fake or phony about it. Fever, nausea, body aches, the whole works. Hit me like a ton of bricks and knocked me down for 2 solid days. I came back to work today. I felt good at first. It was nice to clear out the work that had amassed while I was gone. I had all of that finished up in about 3 hours. After that I was left here sitting around feeling bad about myself again. I hate it here. Nothing makes me realize that more than being gone for 2 days and it only taking me 3 hours to catch up on my work. I have zero desire to stay here. But I can't quit. I can't go without the paycheck. Moving on has been so much easier said than done. I have been applying for jobs for the last 2 years and have only had 2 interviews. I've worked my resume, my website, my references. I've had them all checked by editors to make sure there are no grammatical errors or design issues. I have applied for jobs I am over qualified for, under qualified for, and jobs at my current level. Over the course of the year I probably average about 1 application per week. Over two years that's over 100 jobs I have applied for that I have gotten. 2% interview rate isn't great. Keep trying everyone says. Stay focused on it. If you didn't get it it's because there is something out there for you that's better. Bull shit to all of that. I feel beat down. I feel unwanted. I feel like the person I thought I was professionally is just a lie. I worked my ass off to get to the position I am at and I have realized over this application process that no one gives a shit. I thought taking this job was going to be a stepping stone to my future. Reality is it was a step in to my grave. I feel stuck. So stuck. I hate coming to work. I hate being at home. I feel so unfulfilled. Start your own thing some people say. Hard to do when you can barely keep your head above water financially. My wheels have been spinning for so long. I've been banging my head against the same wall for years. It's enough to drive a person mad. I feel like I am losing my fucking mind.