M.e.: Donít force it
posted 2019-08-22 10:42:39

I hate when people send me memes. People who send me memes always send shit they like or they think is funny and very rarely what i like or think is funny. So 90% of the time I look at the meme and donít reply. If itís not funny or cool Iím not responding...yet, they keep sending me shit. And every time they send me something actually funny or interesting itís like shit from 2 weeks ago that they just now saw.

In my life, People who tag or at me to a meme get me and my humor more often,

But I prefer people who just post memes to their page. Donít force it, let the funny happen naturally

permanent link

la brava ragazza: How'd it take a long...
posted 2019-08-21 22:38:18

...long time to be here?

I can't trust my best friend anymore. What a weird feeling it is to realise such a thing. She keeps things from me and pretends that she does it in my best interest, but it's so fake. And, as she doesn't know that I know as much as I do, I am forced to go along with it and keep it a secret to maintain this outward appearance that we are still besties. Or I confront her and end our friendship.

She judges me. She is possessive and controlling and hates that someone might be closer to me than she is. It's a whole mixed bag of toxicity and hypocrisy towards which I am, for some reason, expected to turn a blind eye. Which is near impossible when I know that she is listening to, believing, and spreading rumours she's heard from others rather than discussing shit with me.

And so, I am keeping this bish at an arm's length.

Meanwhile, I am fully and completely 100% in love. Finally, I have met who I believe to be my true soulmate.

And it's only now that I can clearly see that almost every single relationship I've had prior to this was forced in one way or another. Had I ever really thought that what I had with these previous peeps was going to work? If I am being honest, no. Except for, perhaps, my first bf ever. Until he lied to me. Other than that, not one (except maybe the Sailor, until I realised that he wasn't honest with me either). Not even my ex-husband. Fucked up, right?

But now I get it.

With him, I can be myself. Uncompromised, unapologetic, unabashedly; me. And he loves me for it. And he is the same - just him. And I fucking love him more than anything.

I can admit that I know I've said shit similar to this in the past. But I can also admit that there was always this nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me that it wasn't right. That voice knew that I was trying to make something fit where it couldn't.

And now, this has just fell into place where I didn't know it could. We fit. Just like that. It happened in such a way that neither of us really expected, and yet neither of us could imagine anything different.

Tomorrow will be our last day together before I go on a long-ass road-trip with my brother and his family. I am going to miss him like crazy. So, I need to make tomorrow count. And while we've already sort of kind of admitted that we love each other, tomorrow I am going to tell him. Full stop.

Buona notte.

permanent link

posted 2019-08-20 08:01:58

The humidity!!!

permanent link

posted 2019-08-19 22:52:05

second date with lady was very good too, and we've planned a third date. she is funny and tall and serious and cute, and she likes me.

she's not weird about cyan, and he's not weird about her.

so that's pretty good.

work is still tedious as hell. one more month until my last day.

permanent link

posted 2019-08-15 21:30:19


Toying with signing up for nursing BSN in the fall.

I am not sure how best to proceed, i had my pick of 3 or 4 floors, and I picked one because it had the best organized management who acted like they had their shit together.

This may yet become a nightmare, but we shall see.

permanent link

atrocious: Just when you thought it was over
posted 2019-08-15 09:37:50

Well the other gig that my company offered was a complete waste of time. Bloody people that are in charge of scheduling were harassing me via text message, email and phone calls. They wanted me to work certain shifts that were more than distance allowed within the law. I had to argue with them all the bloody time and was getting ready to tell them where to stick it. Well I am a permanent employee with ongoing contract so getting rid of me is not easy and I will fight them hard if they try to unfairly dismiss me.

Talking to the union is useless since they cannot do much but do come in handy with legal costs if it comes down to that.

Pretty bummed out that I havenít gone on bike rides for a long while now. Illnesses and injuries have not helped matters. Went for a good 5 hour ride the last time I rode and that was when I injured my leg. Great, all that flexibility and endurance has been lost. I know this because I got on my bike after being off it for a while and it felt so uncomfortable as someone changed the set up.

Hmmm, eating once a day suits me well since I was able to keep my body mass down. I would weigh the same but my pants would fit me quite loose. After being home for a while now and not able to exercise, pants are feeling tight again but refuse to buy bigger pants. On a good note, after two days of eating once a day I am able to use the second last hole on my belt comfortably. Also, wcan secure both button and the sliding metal part of my pants comfortably. 5 days ago I could only do the metal sliding part.

Itís always frustrating that legs and thighs tend to shrink first while the dang gut likes to linger and never piss off.

permanent link

fetal error: The Path
posted 2019-08-13 10:08:53

The path to absolution is not confession and redemption, there is only damnation.

Sometimes when you find a nice deep hole to wallow in, it becomes impossible to climb out of it. So instead we sit, despairing and guilty, recollecting our thoughts in hopes to piece something together.

permanent link

posted 2019-08-11 18:23:14

Revelation- whilat I love my job in complicated ways, there are duties required that I did not sign up for. Court subpoenas and giving evidence are a circus I didn't opt in for.

permanent link

The Dean:
posted 2019-08-11 12:14:33

Guess who will be in L.A. this week? Me to propel my acting career and enhance my IMDB profile.

permanent link

existential crisis:
posted 2019-08-08 03:50:51

I guess I should specify that it's the fear of dying from a panic attack that scares me so much. If the fear of dying from one of those didn't freak me out so much, it wouldn't be as bad. But, you know. When the racing heart turns into my extremities going numb and tingly, my mind jumps to "heart attack/stroke" and all common sense goes out the window.

permanent link